It's time.......

As I take a glance at my blog every couple weeks, I have the hardest time wanted to add another post, because of the tragedy I went through the end of June.  On a Sunday afternoon my sister Angie and I were texting and she was telling me about her trip to target for the 1st time in about 10 days because she was sick and her doctors put her on bed rest.  She was all excited to tell me she bought both Saylor and Persaus there 4th of July shirts (she did this every year) and a slushy maker :-)  if you read my last post you can see how excited I was to get to California to be with my sister and niece and nephew for about 5 weeks!!! The next day I sent Angie a text that said I had butterflies in my stomach because in just a few short days I would be with her.  Not even 30 minutes later I called my mom because Angie didn't respond to my text (we talked everyday) so I was concerned..... My mom was bed side with Angie at the hospital because she became very sick early Monday morning.  A few hours had gone by and the every minute she was getting worse.  My mom put the phone up to Angie's ear and I lost it ...... My sister, my best friend was sick and I live so far away and I just wanted to be with her!!! Angie said her last words here on this earth to me which was " I love you". Those words are ingrained in my heart and I play them over and over again in the soft voice she whispered them to me. Later Monday night Brian got a phone call from my dad to comfort me as Angie was not looking good.  I LOST IT, my WHOLE world was changing and I was NOT okay with it.  The next morning I was at my sisters side holding her and asking God to wake her up.   Hours that seemed like seconds turned into my final goodbye to her here on this earth.  I struggle everyday with her not here. For a couple weeks I turned against God amd blamed it all on him and how could he take her from me.......... At the very end of our stay I decided to go to Church with a friend that I believe deep down God lead me there and I am soooo grateful I ended up at that Church because the light shined down on me and I felt the whole service was for me!!  I along with catching up on the last 6 months of not blogging i will be talking a lot about my sister........ So hold on :-)))).